The Reunion Show

Last night, the ladies of my former cubicle and I got together for a "happy hour" hour. It was at a "pub" across the street from where my new cubicle resides. I'm glad they picked this "establishment" because: 1) it had very good "happy hour" fare and costs and 2) it was right across the street from where my new cubicle resides.

Ha! I copied and pasted that last part!

There's not too much to say other than T-Ha attacked me. Yes, she slapped my man-gut. Fortunately, I'm ripped like an M1 Abrams tank, so all the ladies heard was girl-flesh smacking steel.



That sounds dirty.

Anyway, yes, she laid out an all-out vicious assault. I haven't experienced anything like that since she last hit me.

I need to get on Maury.

Until next time, America!

So About Last Night

I'm writing this post on my iPod Touch since my laptop is dead. So it will lack my usual fun and exciting boldings, images, captions and embedded videos.

There's not too much to joke about though when you think about New York State's Legislature having approved same-sex marriage. Following Governor Cuomo's signature, it'll be law soon.

This is important for many reasons, most of which are too important for me to just give a brief review here. (That and typing with my thumbs is harder than I thought it would be.) However, I'm proud to say that where I grew up understands that -- if the state is going to recognize certain relationships -- then it doesn't matter who that consenting person is.

Whether such relationships are based on love or whatever is up to the individuals. I'm just glad that a state recognizes that the relationship I share is one that others can share. There is no argument (that is not bigoted or vile) that what I share is absolutely dependent on what anatomical features my spouse has. I'm attracted to whom I'm attracted and married the person I love.

So here we are. Hopefully is recognition continues with other states (if this is indeed a state issue) without delay.

THE TRUTH: Cupcakes Anyone?

I have one thing to say about T-Ha's latest posting: it's all true. My lady friend said I am a terrible back-seat driver and now there is further evidence of her opinion.

This statement about sums up my life:

and then you've got A-Dawg screaming in your ear not to let people cut you off, but you let them because the last time A-Dawg was in your car, he complained about almost dying because of my driving.

What can I say.

No, really. I'm asking you. Eh.

So I dropped off my ve-hic-cle today at the car shoppe to have the tire fixed. It would seem as if our car's tires attract nails and screws. I just don't get why such pure evil exists in our world. I went to Tastee Diner in Bethesda for some breakfast afterward (oh it was like 6:20 a.m.) and it was an experience. Who would have thought that an old-timey diner would be the place for high school hipsters!

I SWEAR TO GOD THEY PLAYED BRITNEY SPEARS AGAIN AND AGAIN ON THE JUKEBOX. OOPS YOU HIT REPLAY AGAIN!

I wanted to cry; even my edition of the Washington Post did not soothe my furious anger!

Actually I just sat there and read the paper. It was all right.

After getting kicked out at around 7:15, I went to work where I didn't trip the alarm. That's always a good start. Figuring I had almost two hours to kill before work, I decided to surf the interwebs.

I found two interesting Web Sites of note:

http://themanyfacesof.com/the-goonies/
My lady friend would appreciate this, as her life revolves around much of this movie. Not that I mind. It makes for an enjoyable laugh.

http://mydaguerreotypeboyfriend.tumblr.com/
Not that there is anything wrong with that... but people back in olden times were much more interesting than they are today. We're just boring and listen to Brittney Spears at 6 a.m. like freakin' jackasses. Society is doomed.

I hear people coming in so I need to prepare to look like I know what I'm doing.

Until next time, America!

Cupcakes Anyone?

Once again I'd like to point out that I'm the most awful blogger when it comes to consistency with the blog posts...oh well! You'll survive.

How my cupcakes should've looked...

Anyways, A-Dawg and I finally reunited after being separated for two weeks! And how did we embrace this reunion? With a little taste of Georgetown Cupcake. Yes, that's right, it's the cupcake joint you see on TLC called DC Cupcakes. However, as good as their cupcakes are, sometimes looks can be deceiving and on this specific occasion, they were. When I got back to the office, half of the frosting on my cupcakes fell off! Can you believe it!? I even made sure to drive carefully so that the cupcake bag wouldn't tip over...and what happens!? You open the box and it looks like someone pooped frosting onto these cupcakes. It was so awful. I think the icing on the cake (no pun intended) was the manner in which A-Dawg got to this place and got back. Anything that could've possibly gone wrong to delay us, did. Hm, let's see...so the construction workers decided the most appropriate time for them to fix the pavement on Old Georgetown Rd was at 1pm when you've basically got the lunch rush on one of the biggest streets known for its places to eat...and then you've got A-Dawg screaming in your ear not to let people cut you off, but you let them because the last time A-Dawg was in your car, he complained about almost dying because of my driving. I was just trying to keep him safe...and finally on the drive back, we've got an emergency and I get delayed 5 minutes while I wait for a firetruck to drive by. And to top it all off, we end up with poopy cupcakes. LAME!

This is what my cupcakes looked like...poop.

So while I'm here, can we talk about one of my pet peeves...I hate it when people either attempt to glance into your purse or physically put their hand in your purse to see what you got in there. The reason I bring this up is, well it obviously happened to me the other day. So I'm this room, and I place my purse on the chair in the room while I go to talk to the person occupying this room. Well, the third person in this room walks over to the general area where my purse is, glances in it and asks "are you really reading The Book of Basketball?" And when I said yes, a hand was placed into my bag to make sure that was indeed the book being talked about. Do you really need to put your hand in my bag? (that's what she said.) No you don't. So please, next time, keep your hands out of my bag and don't let your eyes look into it. Have some manners will you.

Bee tee dubs, I'm absolutely loving the fact that Debbie Reynolds is the guest judge on So You Think You Can Dance tonight. She's awesome and she's hilarious and I absolutely love it!

ABC 7 Blondes

OK QUICK POST: I got a new backpack today for running home from work.


I was never a sprinter so this doesn't apply to me in any way.
It weighs like a quarter pound and has a thousand straps. It's a man's-man's pack and is fit for urban warfare.

And it's also blue, so it's cute.


She loves America more than you, you sinner.
Speaking of that, to my dismay I discovered that ABC 7 hires only young blonde women for it's B-Team. (I was going to say the next letter but that would be sexist. At any rate, I mean the weekend team. You dirty mind!)

They're all blonde and like twenty-something. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Specifically, Britt McHenry and Pamela Brown.

From Britt's bio page:

In her spare time, Britt loves watching baseball and football and is an avid Miami Dolphins fan.

Sure you do.


She's a serious reporter. Or something.
As for our girl Pamela:

Outside of work, Pamela enjoys hanging out with her little sis, Patricia, who she mentors through Big Brothers, Big Sisters of America. She also likes reading historical fiction, doing hot yoga and playing with her adopted dog, Bear.

Indeed, Pamela, indeed.


I'm not sure what's going on here but that guy is a happy, happy man.
There's no real point to this point other than I'm just pointing out the obvious.

Hey Today Hey

I went for a run this morning with my younger brother. It was hot and humid and we decided to cut it short and get coffee instead. No complaints!

Right now I'm watching The Empire Strikes Back and will shower in a minute. I'm planning on:

• Returning a pair of jeans to Target that didn't fit. They were a bit... tight... in a certain "area." My lady friend laughed but I don't know if she minded too much.
• I'm going to hit REI to try on some backpacks for when I run home. I have a big red one that my lady friend bought me but the straps cut into my neck. Seriously, they did. I have some marks on my neck still (from Wednesday) where my skin was cut raw. It's gross. I would take pictures but this blog would quickly go to Rated R in a second.
• Ha ha, Luke is talking to his copilot as they prepare to take on the AT-ATs that are going to attack the base. That copilot is Star Wars' Star Trek's red shirt. If you don't know what that means, follow the link. Oh and you're stupid.
• I bought some bagels and cream cheese to eat with my coffee, since we had lox at home already. "Lox" is French for "SALMON," which is Native American for "FISH." It was tasty-tasty!

Ok I smell really, really bad so I'm going to jump in the shower!

So You Think You Can Lurch Part 2

God almighty this show is on again tonight. I was all set to watch some DVDs (or even Blu-Rays!) but, no, this is on. Good lord. My soul is weeping.

Now they're going through who's going to kicked off. It's some blonde lady and some 15 year old boy.


At least this guy is entertaining!
Now they have some lip-syncing terrible singer. I swear to god she's not even trying. How the hell is she a singer? She's not singing! She's not even lip-syncing to a good song. This is the type of song they need to play during sex ed., so children will learn that if they do the naughty, they'll end up stupid.


This is what is wrong with our nation.
Praise the lord it's over. I'll never get that time back.


I added this for no reason other than to highlight Tim Curry.
Now they have a real dancer doing a real dance. Too bad it's on a fake show doing lurching.

Ok, I'm done where's my beer.

So You Think You Can Lurch

I think the worst part about this show—and this is a bold, bold, bold statement—is the audience. For instance, two statue-white dancers (Pookie and Stefan) were dancing. Their dancing was respectable. Perhaps even commendable. However, the audience seems to believe that they need to scream like that stupid, evil, devil woman-judge whenever one of the dancers lifts his or her leg.


This is last thing you will see when Jesus comes to start over on this planet.
No, that's not how we behave, children. You stupid, stupid children. When you go to a show and watch what is billed as an emotional, passionate performance beat (not like that ridiculous "hip-hop" routine), there is no need for you to scream like a god-damn jackass.


Think about this (as in what he is doing).


And now picture this without throwing up. I know you can't.

Here's another one in case you have an iron-stomach.

Excuse me, I had to leave the computer for a minute. (Speaking of computers, my "new" computer at work went funky. I swear I didn't break it.)

What was I saying? Eh.

Oh whatever the show is over now I'm going to watch hockey.

Life Without A-Dawg

So while A-Dawg is updating us from the offices of his new job and brand new computer (laptop really), I figured I would do a post on what life has been like these past couple of the days in the office without him.

It's dark, bitter cold, and smells like death... no no just kidding! It's been a lot more quiet, which is totally fine. It will take some getting used to for me, but it's all good. I've been keeping myself busy by watching 2-3 episodes of my shows. I figured it would be better for me not to watch them at home when they air, that way I can keep myself busy during these long 8hr days. I've also started my fourth summer book ... yay! I feel like it's gonna take me the rest of the summer to read because it's like 700 pages, but it's supposed to be a good book. Curious? It's called The Book of Basketball. Obviously, it's about basketball and random basketball facts/stories. It's for the true basketball fans out there. *not naming any names* hehe

Other than that life has been pretty good. I'm going to the Nationals vs. Cardinals game tonight. We've got seats right behind the Cardinals dugout. Maybe I'll yell profanities at Albert Pujols!

I also went to see the doctor yesterday. I really hate doctor's offices. Now those places really smell like death. Don't worry though, I'm fine. It was one of those you're going on 2 major trips in a couple weeks, and the parentals want to make sure you're good to go, type of things. And I can proudly say I am good to go. However, for those of you who don't know me that well, one of my biggest fears is of needles. I absolutely hate them. Want to know why I hate going to the doctor? Every single f#!@ing time I go there, the man has to stick a needle in me. For this appointment, I strategically scheduled it late in the afternoon so that if he said I needed to get blood work done, I didn't have to do that same day because I hadn't fasted. That means I could give myself a couple days to mentally prepare. Genius right? Nope WRONG! Apparently because I haven't had cholesterol problems in the past, it was totally fine to do a blood test. Yippee! SIKE.

This is where the story gets scary -- I went next door to get the blood work done. Again, the room smelled like death, but with a little hint of blood. The receptionist was pretty nice. So she sent me to the back to Room #3 (not a good number) and I sat there while I waited for my blood-man. Now the area I was sitting in was across from the room where they actually run all the tests on the tubes of blood. And the guy in the room was doing just that. While sitting in that god-awful chair for what seemed like forever, I was watching this guy run his tests and I'm thinking to myself "please don't let this guy be the guy that draws my blood". (Side note: yes I have preferences with who draws my blood because I'm so mortified with the process, I need to be comfortable with the person...DUH) And what do you know? Yup, this guy was my guy. Shit. When he came over to section, I told him I needed to tell him two things...1) I'm afraid of needles and 2) Can I have the butterfly needle? (For those of you not familiar with the butterfly needle -- it's a lot less intimidating than the normal needle they use, it's in the shape of a blue butterfly, and it doesn't hurt as bad as a normal needle). Well this asshole was like "well let me tell you that we don't have any more butterfly needles". I thought he was joking. I was like you're joking. He had that look on his face that screamed "hey I know you're scared right now so I'm just gonna fuck with you to make you even more scared" ... he wasn't joking about not having any butterfly needles. I've never gotten blood drawn by the normal "big" people needle, so by now I was just in panic mode. And so I'm telling him like there's no way you don't have the butterfly needle. And he's like "Well I don't know what you want me to do, I've been doing this for 12 years, it's gonna be fine". Long story short, I sucked it up, almost cried, and was speechless after. Literally. After, he asked if I was okay, and I had been choking up so I couldn't talk. I just nodded my head. It was awful. Now I have to look at this damn hole in my arm for the next week, and just pray that it doesn't bruise.

What I've never been able to understand is why the F#@! do they need to draw 3 damn containers with blood.  There's no way you need THAT much blood to run your tests. One test tube should be enough. You know what? No. Actually, why can't we use blood from any other part of the body? I've seen CSI, I see what they do with little droplets of blood they find. Why can't I make my finger bleed (note: it's been bleeding for like the past two days) and make them just cotton swab that shit? Come on now. It's ridiculous. There are other people in the world that are afraid of needles. We need to figure out a way to work around this whole sticking needles in people's veins thing.

Anyways, I guess this practically just shows that life is still somewhat miserable without A-Dawg. Oh well. Here's a quote from The Office that expresses my feelings about A-Dawg leaving ...

What is the single most important thing for a company? Is it the building? Is it the stock? Is it the turnover? It's the people. The *people*. My proudest moment here wasn't when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No, no, no, no. It was a young Guatamalan guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went "Mr. Scott, will you be the Godfather to my child?" Wow. *Wow.* Didn't work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.

First Week THUS FAR!

So as Tankie Cubicle's fans know I started a new job this week. American University fired me because I had a habit of making weird hand-farting noises during office meetings. Without going into much detail (and in part due to the impending lawsuit), my council said I can said the following:

See yah homes I be outs!

I now work for the man in Bethesda, Mary-land! I would say where but don't want to get fired! Again!

FULL DISCLOSURE: I've never been fired. Never. Ever. Never never ever ever!

So I got me a fancy new cubicle in a fancy new office. The laptop I'm typing on costs more than my car! (THANKS MOM AND DAD!)

As some of my former tankie cubicle-ites know, I was a-yearning for a comic book store today during lunch. (Actually, it was weird: as soon as I walked outside, I said "I want a comic." I walked around for a bit and then decided just to google it later. Later came and went and I forget. In talking to someone via instant messaging, I learned there is one right around the corner. I'm gonna hit it like it's going out-of-style tomorrow! If I remember!)

But I digress.

My new job is actually a job-job but I hope to provide our dear fans the latest in tankie cubicleness from afar.

One nice thing though: my new supervisor and some coworkers took me out to lunch yesterday. It was nice and the company paid for the meal! Take that AU!

But I'm not bitter. Not at all. That wouldn't be professional.

Until next time, America!

We're 700! We're 700!

I just happened to note that our viewings have hit 700 just now. This is officially the most important and popular blog in the world.

Saying Good Bye to A-Dawg

EXTREME NOTE: this post may or may not make you tear up. You've been warned.

Yes, yes I know I haven't posted in a long time, but I think that's mostly because I haven't had much to write about. But now that my bestest friend in the office A-Dawg has officially left the Tankie Cubicle, I feel as though we should pay tribute to the great "work" he provided the office with.

Let me also just say that the man deserved and should've had a going away luncheon. Even though we did have a celebration the week before from just our office for my birthday and his departure, a lunch party from the entire office would've been a little bit more appropriate. Oh well.

A-Dawg -- I will personally take you out for drinks when you settle into your new job. And yes I can do that because I'm 21 and because we're best friends.

Anyways, I don't think you people realize what A-Dawg brought to the office. Having a shitty day? Maybe a shitty life? A-Dawg could make you laugh all day in the office with his collection of jokes (the best ones were the raunchy ones). Let's also not forget his secret talent of making fart noises with almost every part of his body. The man is truly talented. And what about the beautiful balloon game? He's the balloon game champ!

So I ask this question now... Who's gonna make me laugh everyday in the office, who's gonna make the best fart noises, who's gonna ring the alarm of my car from the window when random people walk by it, who's gonna pop his head over the cubicle in a creepy manner, who's gonna push sexual harassment to it's limit in the office, who am I gonna go get nugs with, who am I gonna tell my raunchy life stories to, who's gonna watch South Park and randomly burst out in crazy laughter when the office is completely silent, who am I gonna have verbal diarrhea fights with, who's gonna contribute to the your mom jokes, who's gonna count the linens, who's gonna come with to me Washington Wizards games/events, and ultimately who's gonna make the office one of the most enjoyable places to work in?

To the new guy: you've got some BIG ASS shoes to fill. No pressure.

To A-Dawg: as bitter as I was the day you left, I do wish you the best of luck at your new job. And just know that right now you're gonna be making more money than me :P. And though you didn't get a party, we'll throw our own party with the Nat Cat, Little Bro, the boss lady, the girl upstairs and diagonal, and me!

Last Day at AU Makes for a Happy A-Dawg

Yes, this is where I'm going.
So today was my last day at American University (henceforth, "AU"). I'm not very good at good byes but I hope to see those I said "good bye" to again soon.

I do have the singular honor of being the only employee in recent memory who did not get a going-away party! Yes, my cubicle-mates held a joint birthday/farewell party for T-Ha and me last week. (I do appreciate that.) However, given that I'm A-Dawg, I ain't get no party. I'm not too upset about that but for those of you who know me: I'm a pig. I enjoy and thrive on free food.


I'm not bitter. Really.
T-Ha and I did go to McDonalds, where I got a Double Cheeseburger and small French Fry. I dipped both in an assortment of sauces. It was all right.

My supervisor let me go early, which I thought was a nice gesture. I figure it was costing AU more to keep my computer on and sucking interweb juices than it would be to send my behind home.

T-Ha was also puppy-sitting again today which made it all worthwhile. She's a sweet dog and she licked my face. I'm just that tasty! Unlike a double cheeseburger from McDonalds!


I lead a simple life.
So, we'll see what the next chapter brings. Yes, more money. Yes, some work to do during the work day. LET'S SEE HOW IT GOES, HUH?

Last Day Eve's Eve

So I have two more work days here at Shangri-La. My desk is almost cleaned and... oh, I'm sorry, my foam walled cubicle across from the women's bathroom is almost all-set.

Yesterday I attended a going away par-tay for another coworker. Having only talked to her perhaps two times this past year, I was going primarily for what I thought would be a free lunch. Unfortunately, I had to buy my chicken wrap. Seriously? What? What! Actually, I think we spoke once. Whatever. It doesn't matter now! The wrap was good, though.


This is the first image that came up on Google Image Search for "wrap." I suppose it could have been much, much worse!
I've been busy cleaning my desk—damnit, cubicle!—for some of the day. And... I uploaded some lists. Got a hair cut. Oh, yeah, answered some emails. In fact, today was very productive!

Side note: I'm listing to wamu.org online right now, so I'm smart! They just had an oldie song on to, so I'm cultured! Thanks!


Again, first image on GIS. I'm getting scared!

I'm running out of steam so I'll post more later.

Until next time, America!

If It's Sunday, It's A Day

Nothing is as beautiful as man-love. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
I can't top T-Ha's epic journey of malls and bars so I thought I would point out a Web page that I stumbled upon on my own epic journey through the interwebs: http://fuzzysquid.com/LJ.php

From the Web page:

The latest 50 images posted to Live Journal
Potentially VERY NSFW!

August 24 2009: NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN - Annd we're back! LJ fixed the bug! Thanks to everyone who emailed. You can write me or look at my non updating blog here.

( This page runs off a feed made publically available by LiveJournal. Images attached to private posts are not included in this feed. To opt-out entirely, go to the command console and type "set latest_optout yes" (without the quotes) and hit execute. You must be logged into LiveJournal to do this. )

Whomever typed the above forgot to run spell check... grammar check... and perhaps didn't finish grade school. Seriously, who writes like that? Oh wait, I have an idea.

By the way, the above picture comes from the above mentioned Web page. I'm very thorough like that.

That's what she said!

PS: I just found these pics and figured they're what go on T-Ha's head at any given moment:

Birthday Weekend Part I -- Please Don't Hit on me at a Hookah Bar

I should probably start this post off by thanking A-Dawg for that wonderful random-ass post with the Jellyfish (see below). When I think of jellyfish I think of the jellyfish fields in Bikini Bottom, under the sea. Hopefully you got the reference...

Anyways, I'm not here to talk about jellyfish since A-Dawg already did that for me. Let's do a recap of what I did yesterday, since you know my life is that exciting. You know it is.

So majority of the afternoon yesterday was spent at Moco Mall with my mama, granny num nums, aunt and cousin. Yay fun! I shouldn't be spending money and shopping a lot, but when your mom calls you and asks you if you want to go to the mall, how can you not say yes? I also had a few errands to runs such as getting the band of a watch my other got me for my birthday shortened since you know, I have skinny wrists. It's definitely a bling watch too! It blinds you in the sun. Cool. I also needed to get a new key to my apartment since my other broke in the frikin door the other day. Now I have a Hawaiian themed purple key to my condo which is kind of cool. Not many people have that.

Anyways, after doing a little bit of shopping at the mall, that night my best friend Tina Tobs came to visit and we decided to go to a Hookah Bar in Tysons Corner. The Hookah was great minus the fact that we got next to a table of dudes, and the one guy that looked like the biggest tool was trying to hit on us. Let me just point out that if you are wearing a black, gray, and white plaid shirt with a black tie and black pants and you have fake eye-color contacts in, you have absolutely no chance in hell. Every 10 minutes this kid would interrupt the great conversation we were having with some random comment. If there's one thing you need to know about Tina Tobs is that the girl is one badass biatchhh...so she was being really cold with the guy which was great, but he didn't get the hint. At one point he felt inclined to tell us that he doesn't drink because when he does, he gets out of control. He then proceeded to tell us about a story could've been "some Hangover 3 shit" (his exact words) because he had woken up the next morning in the gutter of a mansion. The best part was when his friend was yelling at him being like "why are you telling them this story, why you just tell them where we live and our social security numbers too!" That was a great comment.

Overall the Hookah Bar was nice, I don't usually go out to Hookah Bars so a change in scenery/activity was nice. We got home around 12, but we weren't very tired, so we decided to watch Zack and Miri Make a Porno since it was the only good movie on at that time and Tina Tobs had never seen it before. Let me leave you with one of my favorite lines from the movie...

Can you believe THIS shit? That chick frosted me like I was a fucking cake!

What Does Birthdays and Jellyfish Equal?

What a weekend! T-Ha is becoming a true adult in the United States of America! Why do I say that? Because we use the chronological age of 21 as an arbitrary marker of adulthood. But I digress.

I figured an interesting way of starting things off would be with a fun video of jellyfish! (Actually, I have no good or funny transition between her birthday and this great video. So, I'm forcing the issue. I trust you'll understand. For reals.)

From the video's Web page:

Jellyfish Lake is located on Eli Malk island in the Republic of Palau. Twelve thousand years ago these jellyfish became trapped in a natural basin on the island when the ocean receded. With no predators amongst them for thousands of years, they evolved into a new species that lost most of their stinging ability as they no longer had to protect themselves. They are pretty much harmless to humans although some people with very sensitive skin may get a minor sting from them. If you are allergic to jellyfish you should wear a wetsuit or protective clothing.

I wouldn't wear any clothing but that's how I roll.

These fascinating creatures survive by sharing a symbiotic relationship with algae that live inside of them. At night, the jellyfish go down to the depths of the lake where the algae feed on nutrients. During the day, the jellyfish come back to the surface and follow the sun across the lake in a massive migration. The algae convert the energy of the sun via photosynthesis into a sugar that feeds the jellyfish.

Like I said, I don't have a whole lot to say at this point. I just ate half a pizza and my mind turned off kthksbaibai.

21st Birthday Weekend Bitches !!!

Well ladies and gentlemen, the Tankie Cubicle officially got tankie yesterday in celebration of my 21st birthday which is this Monday June 6 and the exit of A-Dawg who is leaving us for a better job. Don't worry there will be pictures up very soon! Anyways, everyone brought in food and goodies for us to munch on all day. By the end of it A-Dawg was in a food coma and I was in a sugar coma. YUM! The Girl Diagonal brought ice cream and root beer for root beer floats ...  you know since it was the closest we'd get to actually drinking beer in the office. She also out-did herself by bringing some bubbly aka sparkling cider; again it was the closest way we'd get to actually drinking champagne. The Girl Upstairs brought us some potato chips since you know how much I love my chips! Greatest thing ever created by man! Now I'm craving chips...

Pause timeout I gotta go do my job and give a tour.

OK, I'M BACK! Did you miss me? Ok so what was I talking about? ... oh right the party yesterday. The Boss Lady also made her famous 7-Layer dip. I'm not much of a cheese-dip person, but the taco meat at the bottom was yummyyy. I've been inspired to go to Giant sometime in the near future and buy taco meat and nacho cheese and make myself some nachos for a snack. She also brought donuts! By the way, in case you didn't know today is national donut day...so go eat some donuts! All of this talk about food is making me hungry, but I haven't even gotten to the best part yet. A-Dawg brought my favorite ice cream cake Carvel. There's still enough for two slices in the freeze for me and A-Dawg to eat later on today. You know I'll be hitting that jaunt up.

I think the saddest/best moment of the party was when the Girl Diagonal broke out the bubbly in green party cups and we had a toast. *so emotional* and then we ate some more. And more. And more. Overall, it was a great tankie cubicle bonding moment for all of us. I will be posting pictures from the party sometime this weekend, if I'm not getting to shitty for my birthday haha :)

Brace yourselves for some epic birthday posts about my birthday week these next couple of days.

...I'm 21...almost...

So You Think You Can Grind

This image courtesy of Google Image Search for "fat dancer"
My special lady-friend is forcing me to watch FOX's fantastic So You Think You Can Grind! It's a hoot!

Actually that's a big fat lie. Society is screwed whether we watch this show, since someone thought that this would be a good idea.


It's easy for me to make fun of others, since we can't all be an awesome wizard:


But I digress.

Now there is this girl with green hair in her hair doing some weird crap on the television set. She scares me and my unborn children. Oh! Apparently she's a repeat offender! I wonder if she's on a state-mandated list!? YES! She's going to Vegas! That's fantastic! I think?

Now they're doing a montage of kids jumping like little ninjas fighting evil demons! It's Supernatural!

Pardon me as I go get my laundry. Apparently my lady-friend doesn't like dirty running shorts in the bedroom!

UPDATE 1: They just let this Japanese lady go through who had some weird jimmy-shakes on stage. I'm not sure if that's the best thing for her right now; methinks she needs a doctor!


My lady friend pointed out that this picture might be offensive but if you think that then you're offensive.

UPDATE 2: There's a commercial with Rachel Bilson acting seductively with a chocolate popsicle. Hey now!

UPDATE 3: Ha ha, fat Santa actin' a fool! God this show caters to the lowest common denominator. Remember that from grade-school math class? I would hope so! Unless you went to public school, then, well, um, OK.

UPDATE 4: Aw, two silly sisters are on the television sets! Aren't they cute! Let's see how that little kiddo does on that stage of art and performance!.... She's opening her mouth in a weird way. I hope she's not a goldfish, because they need to be in water! I'm going to start wearing a mono-strap bra and tighty-pants in public now because they are now the in-thing.

HA! He even commented on her mouth and said she looks like a goldfish! This is verified by my lady friend! I swear to good I typed that out before he said that. I'm a freakin' psychic! I'm in the wrong business!


Your mom.
I swear I wrote that before he said it! That's the beauty of blogging!