Special Guest Post! -- The Girl Upstairs

Hello! I am... The Girl Upstairs! Upstairs is a magical place where it is 2 degrees in the summer and 95 degrees in the winter. Upstairs has plenty of water, but no bathroom. Upstairs has plenty of residents, but they are never home. Upstairs is where one would shelter-in-place if mustard gas was found, but the jump from Upstairs to save oneself would result in severe injury. Upstairs has an Oven, but no kitchen. If you lived Upstairs, you'd be home right now.

I am excited to guest blog today for the Tankie Cubicle because:
1) I am responsible for the name change from Tanky to Tankie. If you check Urban Dictionary, you will agree that this was a positive change.
2) I am bored and cold and tired. And falling asleep at work is a fireable offense.
3) I have absolutely nothing to say, which makes me a perfect fit.

So, some thoughts about nothing:
--If you walk into a bathroom stall and find that the toilet wasn't flushed from the last user's pee, how come most people make a disgusted face and quickly move to another stall? I mean it looks like that after you pee, too. I wonder which brave soul actually just flushes the leftover pee so they can use that toilet.

--I unabashedly watch both Real World and the new 90210. I will just say that I am way above the target demographic for either, but I don't care because T-Ha (I) would be sad if I stopped watching. For anyone not in the know, Real World is a reality tv show about 18-25 year olds living together (to find out what happens when they stop being polite and start getting real), and one of the few in that category that is not scripted whatsoever. 90210 is a fictional show about high schoolers in Beverly Hills who are rarely polite to begin with. I will now share with you the current happenings on both shows, but without telling you which storyline goes with which show.

On Show A, a guy cheats on his girlfriend and begins hooking up with her friend instead. A guy gets tankED and wakes up next to his ex. A gay guy finally comes out and starts dating another guy. There is a huge party where one of the guys gets trashed and suggests a threesome. The girl who previously dated another girl chases after a guy. The cast includes a black guy, an Indian guy, a Persian guy, a gay guy, a hippie, a wanna-be actress, a bad boy, a girl estranged from her parents, and a bipolar girl.

On Show B, a girl cheats on her boyfriend and starts dating the guy she cheated with. Another girl hooks up with a guy and then finds out he did gay porn previously. A guy gets drunk and breaks a whole bunch of stuff and tries to start fights. A girl has a pregnancy scare. A new girl tries to make out with the gay porn guy. A big black dude is best friends with a little white dude. Three girls gang up on another girl while she is asleep. Two girls hardcore make out. The cast consists of a black guy, a guy with a bipolar mother, a nerd, a bad boy who was in juvie, 2 Hispanic girls, a Filipino and a girl-next-door.

Any guesses as to which is which? My point is... well, I guess I didn't really start off with a point, but I think there is one to be made. People may claim that these fictional shows about teens are so far-fetched and overly dramatic. But if you can't tell the difference between the plot of one such show and the plot of a reality show, then maybe art is indeed imitating life, after all. My other point is that it is 100% okay for me to know as much as I do about both shows.

--Blogging is fun!

--I just taped a piece of cardboard over my vent Upstairs. I am now less likely to be fired.

--This blog post needs a picture. People are more likely to read stuff with pictures. Unless the pictures are of more text. And unless the blog post is in another language. (I love you, Girl Diagonal.) Here is a picture, courtesy of AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com:

Peace out, homies.
-TGU