Series Finale of Smallville

Further updates to come.

EDIT: Here's my take on the show:

• 8:00pm: They're doing an extended overview of the series. OMG.
• 8:02: Chloe is reading to some kid. Looks like a flash-forward.
• 8:02: Yeah, seven years in the future. She bred.
• 8:02: Some shots of Saturn in teh space 'n stuff. I guess we can safely assume the earth didn't blow up. THANKS FOR RUINING THE SHOW.
• 8:03: Srsly it's too early for a commercial. And a moronic one at that. I will never buy a Civic but will probably see Thor. I'm a man like that.
• 8:06: Finally.
• 8:07: Lois is upset and stuff. Say whuuuuut?
• 8:08: "We don't need fixing." Remember, spay and neuter your pets, folks!
• 8:09: Clark laid down the law.
• 8:10: Aww, Chloe and the Green Arrow! Adorable! They're talking over one another!
• 8:11: Getting married in a church? That's so like old school!
• 8:11: Some black stuff in the Holy Water! That's not good!
• 8:11: Some old lady and whats-her-face chit-chatting in some burned out house. That's not good!
• 8:12: Blah blah I want to see Superman zap some stuff with heat vision.
• 8:13: Whispering? Sounds like what I hear when I'm alone! But I ain't scared!
• 8:13: "I will never join you." THAT SOUNDS LIKE STAR WARS. THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY. I LIKE THAT.
• 8:14: Jumpin' baby bunnies: more commercials. GLAH!! Crystal's buying a Fusion? I DON'T CARE. I. SWEAR. TO. THE LORD. I DON'T CARE.
• 8:17: Commercial for Dragon Ball Z Kai. I like that.
• 8:18: I told my lady friend that I was blogging this episode and she seemed to approve. I now have her blessing.
• 8:19: Commercial for Supernatural. OOHHHH. OH MY GOD THE SHOW IS BACK ON SHUT UP SHUT UP ARGGHH!
• 8:20: Mama Kent is visiting the farm she gave to her kid. I guess she doesn't live in her district anymore so she's not a Senator. CHECK. MATE.
• 8:21: She's upset that she didn't make it clear to Clark that he wasn't supposed to sell the farm. Oops, his bad.
• 8:22: She's proud? My mom was proud that I was able to brush my teeth by myself when I was 12.
• 8:23: The ghost of Papa Kent?! Say whuuuut?!
• 8:23: Lois is at work? Chloe is visiting? DO I SMELL CAT FIGHT?!
• 8:25: She's reading his vows? He uses extra commas, it seems.
• 8:27: Tess is freaking out because the satellites are off-line or something. That's not good. OLIVER TURNED OFF THE EYES IN THE SKY! This can't end well.
• 8:28: Lunercam-something is showing a pissed-off Death Star coming to earth! And that old lady and her kids are up to no-good! UH OH.
• 8:28: One ring to rule them all!
• 8:29: GOOD GOD MORE COMMERCIALS.
• 8:32: IT'S BACK ON SRSLY SHHHHHH. Jonathan Kent is all Ghost-like. But is he Demi Moore? I dun't get it.
• 8:34: He needs to be a hero? I need a sub sandwich.
• 8:34: "What if heroes aren't destined to love?" Deep, dude, deep. I'm destined to figure out what to eat for lunch every single day. It's an one-man battle.
• 8:36: Uh-oh he wants to call it off? Dude this is all like upside-down! Clark don't say it's so!
• 8:38: Blah blah he just wants it to be the wedding night.
• 8:39: He's reading her vows! Rom5nce!
• 8:40: It's so cute when non-religious people get religousy-married! Yes, I'm looking at you sinner. No, not her. You. Wait, hold on. Yeah, she's a sinner, too. Blah.
• 8:41: I would say this wedding is going to go off without a hitch but we all know that would be a grand-daddy of a vicious lie!
• 8:41: OMG THE WEDDING OF THE CENTURY! I have a feeling it's going to be delayed since there is still over an hour to the show.
• 8:44: Shit-snacks I'm so tired of commercials.
• 8:46: I typed "random page" into teh Google and got this page: http://www.ctlw.duke.edu/
• 8:48: I read my comment from 8:44 to my lady friend and she agreed that I am improving the level of the discourse on the interwebs.
• 8:49: I'll slap you if you distract me OMG THE SHOW'S BACK ON GRAAGHHH!!
• 8:50: That ring is teh evil and Chloe knows it! She just slapped it out of her hands! IT'S GO TIME!
• 8:51: Oliver is infected with teh evil! Clark is trying to save the day but it ain't goin' to well!
• 8:52: They're not getting the deposit back on this chapel.
• 8:54: THE DEATH STAR! Seriously another commercial I'm going to have a heart attack.
• 8:57: It's back on OMG I NEED TO WATCH THIS STOP TALKING URRGHHHH!
• 8:58: Chloe likes Oliver ahhh it's so romantic too bad the FRIGGIN' WORLD IS ENDING.
• 8:59: Clark's gonna have a pow-w0w with Jonathan. This is going to get emotional.
• 9:00: JWOWW is telling Clark to listen to Jor-El. Say whuut?
• 9:02: Clark just sped off and another commercial came on. This is just cruel. THIS ISN'T TWO HOURS IT'S 58 MINUTES OF SHOW AND NINETY SEVEN HOURS OF COMMERCIALS!
  
• 9:07: It's back on I swear if you peep I'll scream bloody-murder! Lionel Luther's beard is looking a bit ragged.
• 9:10: Tess is upset that daddy is going to take her heart for Lex's body. I mean, I would be too. That's heavy. OH WOW there's LEX!
• 9:12: Tess is doing some ninja-shit. And she just shot Lionel. I mean. Hard. freakin'. core.
• 9:14: Another damn commercial. And Lionel just got his heart ripped out of his chest by an evil fart god. Again, heavy.
• 9:17: LEX IS BACK.
• 9:19: Lois is wearing her wedding dress's top and some other skirt. Ok, I don't mind.
• 9:21: Lois just knocked some chick out. DO I SMELL CAT FIGHT?
• 9:22: Lex and Clark. Together again. THIS IS GOING TO BE INTERESTING.
• 9:25: OMG this awesomeness is going to make my head explode.
• 9:26: Commercial. This one I needed because I was screaming.
• 9:30: Oliver is suiting up. It's go time.
• 9:31: He just executed three baddies. I'm ok with that.
• 9:32: Lois is on Air Force One. I have a feeling the Secret Service is going to want to have a word with her.
• 9:33: The US military-industrial complex is going to kill a "third of the planet." That can't sit well with middle America.
• 9:35: Darkseid v. Clark. Not even the Supreme Court is going to decide this one!
• 9:40: OMG HE FLEW I HAVE TO GO FOR A WHILE BRB.
• 10:03: HE SAVED THE WORLD BY FLYING OK THAT'S IT.